Parenting during the Pandemic
Never has being a mother to three young children been more challenging than it is now. There is no balance between supporting the kids and my husband while continuing to work. There never really was a balance but it’s a tightrope these days. Most things take 10x longer than they used to and there is no additional support. There are bright spots but each day is different, each child is different and there is never enough time to tend to their needs. Most of the time I don’t beat myself up about the failings of the day and take comfort in the fact that staying positive doesn’t mean you have to be happy all the time. It means that even on hard days you know that better ones are coming. I do believe this…even if those better days may be months away. 59 days in quarantine at home has taught me (and my husband) a few things about our kids. Maybe you can relate.
Kids are resilient yet often emotional roller coasters. Perhaps more attune to their emotions than we are as adults. They give into them much more freely than we do…this is both a blessing and a curse and it makes for some incredibly exhausting days.
They have a strong connection to nature and being outdoors. It’s so important to them to thrive and it’s hard being in the city to foster that in a safe way. We have made some of our best memories during family walks in nature preserves.
Just like being outside our kids really need to engage with sensory materials. Things like play doh, kinetic sand, water beads, rice engage and calm all of them. I truly despise the mess but setting up an invitation to play puts them all in a much frame of mind.
It’s been a blessing to have more time to observe their school work. We better understand where they are struggling and excelling and when time allows are able to better accommodate their educational needs.
They struggle with not being able to look forward to something (and perhaps we all do) so setting their expectations is important as are planning little things. Small events like sleeping in a tent in the backyard or having a virtual ice cream social are impactful and will help them to create positive memories of this time.
Just like myself some of them struggle with life feeling out of control. Of course, most of it has never been in our control but these are terribly uncertain times and finding opportunities to take control has been helpful. For example, by involving them in organizing their toys, or making dinner or planning a movie night they can regain control of some situations.
I’ve never cut anyone’s hair before but I’ve become an at-home stylist and they will let me do whatever I want as long as I reward them with a lollipop and sticker at the end of it!
Time and time again I think about how despite their almost constant fighting that they are so lucky to have each other. They’ve never needed built-in playmates more than they do now.
They would eat 100 snacks a day if they could…even after the three servings of breakfast we just fed them!
Before our world was turned upside down I thought managing the logistics of three kids with three different schedules was hard. Without a doubt, those logistics are harder now. I appreciate that there are virtual ways for my children to engage and learn but managing their ever changing schedules on top of navigating the balance between two work schedules is overwhelming. Playing hooky once in a while is a much needed respite.
It is a privilege to be their mother, their parent and their fierce advocate but on this Mother’s Day, I would just like a few hours to myself. Sure, I may start scrolling through pictures of them after a mere 30 minutes but I know than I am a better mother to them if I can put myself first sometimes. Wishing you all a Happy Mother’s Day!
