Kate's Take

We make so many choices as parents. Some like choosing a preschool can be agonizing but others like selecting a theme for their birthday party can be fun. More often than not, my husband and I find ourselves trying to make decisions that will help our children foster positive self-esteem. This post is about a decision we agonized over (with our eldest) and eventually made for both of our daughters to help them start with a clean slate in order to build up their self-esteem especially in preparation for school.

Both of our daughters were born with red birthmarks right in between their eyes. Our oldest daughters birthmark was far more severe than our youngest (pictured above) and as a first-time parent, of course, it was concerning. Naturally, we thought our daughter was beautiful at birth, but we didn't know a thing about birthmarks and wanted to learn more. She had this very obvious facial mark and we didn’t know if her birthmark develop into something more serious or would it improve with time? Our Pediatrician referred us to the Dermatology group at Ann & Robert H. Lurie, Children's Hospital of Chicago and we learned that Lucy (our oldest) had been born with a birthmark known as a port-wine stain. It was a result of some blood cells that and thankfully, not caused by something I may have done while pregnant. Sometimes, the birthmarks can diminish in size and color but more often than not if the nevus flammeus is darker in color it will not fade. Most importantly, we were relieved to learn that her birthmark was not a sign of something more serious. We left the first dermatology appointment with orders; to watch and wait.

Lucy (as most babies do) quickly went from infancy to a happy and fully engaged baby. During this time her stain did not fade or decrease in size and to be honest, we stopped noticing it. We were fully engrossed and in love with our little girl and her birthmark was just a part of her. Unfortunately, as Lucy grew her birthmark was often noticed by other children whether at the park, the grocery store, music class etc... Toddlers have so many questions and the pointing at her birthmark started to get to us. So much so, that at Lucy's 10 month follow up with her dermatologist we asked about potential treatment options. Our dermatologist concurred that she did not believe the port wine stain had diminished nor would it and if we wanted, we could pursue laser treatment therapies.

Having a laser directed at your infant specifically, her head is a scary thought. This was one of those parenting decisions we agonized over...Would she be in pain? Did her birthmark even matter? Would the laser therapies work? Were we just being vain? Could there be negative side effects? Ultimately, after much hand wringing we decided to move forward with the laser therapies. We wanted her to be confident and would do anything possible to build that confidence even if it meant a cosmetic procedure. We hoped to help her avoid the pointing of fingers and stares as she grew into a more impressionable child. We started the therapies at a younger age to avoid putting her under anesthesia and with the hope that she wouldn't develop a strong aversion to doctors. She had five treatments in all beginning shortly after her first birthday.

To this day I’m glad we made this decision. The social challenges our children will face especially as they enter the tween/teen years concerns me to no end. This was one thing we could do to help give our daughter a boost. In Lucy's case, the treatments worked beautifully, and when her younger sister was born almost 5.5 years later with a port wine stain we knew exactly what steps we wanted to take.